I’d gone quite a while without capping at all.
I had passed a few dimepieces and felt a strong urge to but I would take a deep breath and reminded myself that I can’t be led astray by my impulses… besides at best all I’ll end up with is another video I might look at a couple times which then just takes up storage, nothing flesh and blood.
Almost like a self intervention when you’re mad before you do something explosive where you visualize yourself punching the wall and fucking up your fist or throwing your phone at the ground or spitting venom at your friend or partner and the aftermath, and that leads you to take a step back and cool off.
I was proud of myself as lame as that sounds
Today I had just finished work and was chatting to a customer when I saw a milf walk past who made my jaw drop, latina looking, amazing body, short skirt and it was like a spell was cast over me and I pretended I got a call to wrap up the conversation and get my phone camera out, then began to follow her in hot pursuit.
Apparently my flash was on and I hadn’t realized until someone walking past pointed it out… lucky they did because that could be a smoking gun.
Like most of these once in a blue moon subjects they always seem to be in a big fucking hurry walking ridiculously quickly, but I’m a tall guy with big strides so I caught up and walked next to her for a while… she went into a store, I broke the cappers code and I followed her in… she left and I left shortly after…she went into another store and I didn’t want to follow her in again so I hung by the entrance all the while pretending to be on a phone call about what present to buy my cousin for her 30th birthday (which I still need to buy come to think of it). She left and while I didn’t want to follow her outside the mall I knew it had way better lighting and I felt possessed to cap her as long as possible so I did. I wasn’t breathing down her neck or looking directly at her but I was about 5 meters away. At this point I’m pretty sure I had pushed my luck because I could feel that I was making her uneasy, she shot me an unnerved glance, which is something I rarely feel with subjects because I usually know when to back off. I reluctantly walked off in another direction.
Immediately after the stupid little high wore off I felt nothing but shame and self disgust. I know in the grand scheme of things it’s relatively harmless, considering the lengths some guys go to when they’re thinking with their dick, but I thought I had gained control over my ape brain impulses, obviously not.
I got home and thought, well I might as well enjoy the spoils of war.
My camera had flipped to selfie and I didn’t check it while capping so I had taken a video of my ear.
I had to burst out laughing
Hope one day I can reach a point where I can resist capping even the spiciest meatballs.
Just posting this to help keep myself accountable and maybe something some of you can relate with
gotta have that perfect timing…like pulling out!