this man really posting scripture on a candids forum lmao
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Lmao I had to laugh at that too bro. Not really the place, and Iāve been in his shoes before, lust will never go away. Iām free from religion now, but they made it all seem so bad haha itās not
Unfortunately, you HAVE to hit rock-bottom to curve a real addiction. If you have hit that point and truly want change, hereās some suggestions.
- Get a cheap phone. Maybe a flip-phone, or phone that doesnāt have a camera on it. If thatās not practical, perhaps leave it home on days when you can.
- Write down things/hobbies youāve always wanted to do/try. Keep yourself preoccupied. Write down a meaningful list of realistic goals and try to accomplish them. Donāt set the bar too high - youāll only be discouraged.
- Empathy. Iām fairly new here, and Iām not entirely sure how people will feel about this one, so hopefully nobody gets offended, but put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel in the same situation? And hopefully that will resonate enough for you to want to change.
- If you can, stop going to your ātriggerā spots. Easier said then done I know, but if you can eliminate some of the spots you visit for āopportunitiesā, you are at least āhelpingā yourself get to a better place. You can also repurpose them to your benefit, by changing your perspective. If itās a mall, perhaps tell yourself youāll by ābooksā to learn about 'X" topic, or learn how to do āYā. If itās a gym, Google lifting techniques and proper form and actually put them to the test. Etc.
The more you surround yourself with positivity, the less you will want to do things that affect you negatively. Bad habits beget more bad habits. If you eat junk food, stay up late, or you are sedentary for most of the day, your brain will eventually baseline at this new normal and it will result in you seeking out dopamine releases to combat your depression. You can do this.
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Thanks bro
Dont trip. You are on camera too, theres no expectation of privacy in public, some people like to take pics of trains, some take pics of birds, some take pics of landscaping, we like hott girls over here boy.
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Ask God to come into your heart and change it. All it takes if faith:
Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
God will move and remove the mountain of sin in your life. He has done that for me! All you have to do is believe to take that first step to a relationship with him and freedom from sin!
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Every word that I have preached to you here, I have preached to myself and it is awesome! He awaits you, will you reach out to Him???
Yes, that is true. But this is that God says about lust:
Matthew 5:28
but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
True strength to turn away from our addictions and to not be defiled by the world can only come from God. We canāt change what others do or wear, but we can change how we react to it.
hassX is right about avoiding things that lead you into temptation. But the works of man do not bring about a lifetime of change. Only a relationship with our Creator and Savior can do that.
That conviction that you feel is there for a reason. I found your post for a reason. Donāt let this opportunity pass you by.
Some will scoff at you for making this choice as some have already scoffed at me for placing scripture here. But donāt let them deceive you or discourage you. There is a life of true freedom, if you really want it! the āgoodā habits you need to develop are prayer and studying the Word of God. Get yourself a good Bible. I got a King James Version. Get Bible apps for your phone and blocking apps that can help you avoid sites that lead to temptation.
But you need to seek God out through his son Jesus Christ:
John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
John 3:15-19
15 that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Psalm 51 is an excellent Psalm to pray:
Psalm 51
To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bath-sheba.
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness:
according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions:
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned,
and done this evil in thy sight:
that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest,
and be clear when thou judgest.
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity;
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean:
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness;
that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins,
and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence;
and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;
and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways;
and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation:
and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips;
and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it:
thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion:
build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
with burnt offering and whole burnt offering:
then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.
Lol. I donāt mean to laugh, but damn. I used to attempt to creep before I even gave a smidgen of consideration that it might be a privacy issue. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I sucked so bad at it I didnāt even think about trying again once technology caught up to the pastime. I was out here with a big ass camcorder. Not giving a fuck about feelings or boyfriends.
On a more serious note, I do feel you. So if youāre at this point, and feel like itās wrong, man the fuck up and stop doing it. Donāt be a slave to this shit. And, I guess if itās that serious, seek some professional guidance. Maybe itās hard to quit. But it damn sure aināt impossible.
Good luck!
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Thatās funny!! Cuz I started taking funny shotz of people wherever I went, like Wal Mart. I am not the guy that millions off it the first year unfortunately. But it was around the same time when it went āviralā ā¦wasnāt a word at that time LOL. I had a dream and a camera but lacked the funds for the internet and a PC.
I have since caught up and surpassedā¦
Yo boys for those of you who may be interested. Ive now decided to limit the time i allow myself to go out and shoot to 1 hour on each day of the weekend. So Iāll still be uploading content but hopefully this will contain my addiction a bit. Thanks for all of your advice and support
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Grow some fucking balls and quit if youāre reason to quit is greater than the short hits of adrenaline and dopamine you get than youāll be able to no problem if not itās gonna be a daily mental struggle just stop doing it addiction is not hard to overcome if you believe/know you can
Donāt feel badā¦ cultural movements are unstoppable. Its the sport & art of this era where yoga pants meets technology. Embrace and have fun, is my adviceā¦ or stop, if you think itās negatively affecting your life. Only you know that answer from within.
I feel the same way bro. I wish I wasnāt like this sometimes but itās just what Iāve become. I have a wife that is a good girl and is loyal to me, but yet when I see an ass that appeals to me j want to pursue it. None of this happened until after j in met her and weāve been together for 7 years and somehow this shit made its way into my life. I guess I am just a pervert for always having an eye on shit like this, but Iām not proud of it. I log into this site every fucking day, even if Iām not taking shots myself. Itās a deep hole my friend
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Ive been there. Cold turkey and turning away from this is the only way. Find something better to fill your time. If you dont want to do this, stop. The risk has increased since my day capping. That was back in maybe 2005? I had to quit in 2011. Story is on here aomewhere.
If you hunt through this forum you will see you are not alone. If it is bothering you, please just stop and quit looking for answers that you already have. Deep down we all know this is a bad habit that just rewards our hidden pleasures.
Ultimately the choice is always yours.
If you see a woman whose hips you like or who excites you, donāt look at her.
You are right, I think the same thing, but we are not the only ones to blame, the women who awaken those urges within us. If women didnāt show their hips, you wouldnāt do it, but the only thing you have to do is not to look at them.
When i first started this bad habit I just capped with my phone and I was very reckless and stupid about it. Nowadays I only cap seasonally and donāt use my phone.
Thinking about capping this next season legit makes my heart race, but I dont believe it controls my life.
Iāve done it for so long I donāt lose my shit quite so much and am only interested in the really good looking women wearing something skimpy.
I donāt have any advice, sorry lol
Itās been over 2.5 years since you posted this, and so I hope that means that you havenāt been on here and that you are doing/feeling better.
I appreciate what you wrote and your honesty. I too, struggled with all of this and addictions and to some extent, I still do sometimes. I spent way too much of my life chasing women, lust, and chasing the illustrious āfindā, and on the hunt for the āultimate prizeā or whatever I thought was so important, that sometimes I spend entire days driving around, walking around until I was physically exhausted and my legs and muscles were sore, and to the point where my feet hurt. That is how serious the addiction can be, that I was running myself into the ground chasing the next best thing, but it was never enough.
Many here are hypocrites who may claim to respect women, but if that was true than none of us would be on hereā¦ however, there is more nuance to this. Two things can be true at the same time. It doesnāt mean that we are bad people, it just means that weāre making the wrong decisions and that we are not living our lives to our fullest potential and fulfilling our true purpose. Iāve had to deal with my own demons, and face reality. Iāve had to accept that I was suffering like so many.
Some will take different philosophical stances and view what they do as harmless or that they arenāt doing anything wrong. Others know itās wrong, and want to stop, but canāt.
That said, I am in a way better place now than I was a year ago, 5 years ago, and more. Iāve largely stopped doing candids (captures), or āshootingā whatever you want to call it. I was doing it off and on for 20 yearsā¦Every once in a while now, I slip, and I find myself holding my phone next to a woman in the store, but then I stop myself, remove myself from the situation and go home and think about it, and end up deleting it realizing that it was just a temporary urge that wasnāt worth it. If you had seen me a long time ago, I wouldnāt have been able to delete them so soon afterward and I would have this need to keep themā¦ as I would have to save massive collections on my cloud, multiple hard drives, etc. Some of which I still have today.
Thereās a lot of good advice in this thread, and some stuff might work for others. Everyone is differentā¦ this will be unpopular, but I believe that nothing will work unless you are willing to surrender to a higher power and truly seek help in a support group of some kind. The most important thing is do what youāre doing and be completely honest. That will be something no one will ever want to admit or doā¦ but Iāve done this with a couple of my friends. I called them one day, and told them Iāve been dealing with another addiction and they didnāt stop being my friend. They listened to me and stood by me. Iām not saying you have to tell everyone or anything, but honesty and willingness are the first steps in any meaningful recovery.
Some people say God, and I saw one guy in here refer to his faith, and others choose to believe whatever helps them out. I was only able to discover this when I got help for another addiction, and so when people are āin the programā for other addictions (depending on what help they seek) often times they end up doing a 12-step program. In these, the whole purpose is to find your higher power that is outside of yourself, because it canāt be yourself. Weāve all tried to do it by ourselves, but it doesnāt work. If left to ourselves and our own āwill-powerā - we eventually fail, and go right back to our vices and our bondage. This is why you reached out on here, because we are the only people that do understand you and what you are going throughā¦ and even if you never read this, someone else that needs to, will.
The truth is, lust is bondage. And no, Iām not talking about the other kind, Iām talking about how lust keeps us in bondage. We are slaves to our fleshly desires and sometimes the grip seems so powerful, that we canāt change or escape. We can only get temporary relief, and then we are back at it againā¦ sometimes weeks later, sometimes the next day, sometimes hours later. There are many beliefs, some believe that addiction is purely chemical reactions in our brains and I used to think that way. I used to be an atheist for a long time, and then an agnostic. Iām not saying anyone has to believe anythingā¦ do whatever works for you, but if you want my honest advice, surrendering to God is the only path to free you from bondage.
Also, keep in mind, just simply stopping this behavior with candids, shooting, captures, etc. alone doesnāt cure your problem with lust. You still might cheat, lie, watch porn, desire other women, chase women endlessly and never be fulfilled because you are feeding lust.
I know from my own experience, that years ago, I would not be able to stop, and I would go out for days, every day, for hours, and days at a time, and I would watch porn everyday, and masturbate way too much on a daily basis. It was a toxic and unhealthy lifestyle.
While I am far from cured, and far from being the best version of myself, at least now I know what Iām up against, and largely the strong urges and the need to go out and record are nearly gone. I still struggle every once in a while, truly, because almost 20 years of having a habit and an obsession/ addiction is hard to break all at onceā¦ but these days, I donāt spend my time doing that anymore. I do not come on here that often, and when I do, I do feel guilty, and I go away for another longer period of time. As Iāve said before, I have a massive collection of videos that Iāve been struggling with to delete for some time now, but I canāt seem to bring myself to do it yetā¦ and that is because I have one foot in my recovery, and one foot outā¦ and honestly, I stopped going to meetings for my other addiction, and that is how I ended up on here againā¦ While I was in the program, I was not on hereā¦ that is how I know it works. There are other programs, for sex addiction, that will be like this one, but differentā¦but even in those groups, like SAA, itāll be very difficult to share these things we do with someone elseā¦ but donāt be afraid, the ones that suffer like you do, they will not judge you, or at least they shouldnāt.
It is only because I know what needs to be done, to totally surrender to God, that will truly liberate me from lust and bondage and I know that my higher power will take away all the urges and heal my soul when I am readyā¦
Some of you will think Iām some crazy religious nut, and thatās fairā¦ itās fine. I donāt really care what others thinkā¦ Iām confident in my own path and what I know to be trueā¦ I feel like this message needs to reach others who might need it. There is a way to stop. There is promise, and there is hope. You will only continue to feel your self esteem go down, and down if you keep doing this. When the high fades away, when you already masturbate and then the guilt sets inā¦ the shame, thatās when you might distract yourself, or pretend you donāt do itā¦ and then you disassociate and start to have two lives, one where you are an honest and decent person with integrity, and the other where you are a creep, a pervert, an addict, and a liar. This is the cognitive dissonance that happens, and our true self, deep inside, our inner self wants to break free of the prison weāve built around ourselves. We locked ourselves inside of it, and only we can break ourselves out and truly be liberated.
You might be skeptical, and not understand nowā¦ but once you surrender, though it sounds odd that āsurrenderingā would give you freedom - it isnāt a lie - you will actually be liberated and have more freedom from your own bondage. I actually came on here thinking that I was going to find a post that I liked, andā¦ but I donāt have the urge anymoreā¦ and what Iām meant to do, I have my true calling pulling me away from this to focus my energy on that once I hit āreplyā here.
My life used to be in a very dark place, and I know that my battle with lust has been a long one conquering my demons - and I know that any of you can also do the same. It will not be easy. I know I still have a long way to go still, but I also am proud of myself that Iāve made this much progress.
Best of luck to all of you, whatever you decide to do.
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