Ever feel like the universe is teasing you?

General Discussion
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The whole reason I got into capping in the first place was because I would cross paths with the sexiest women in situations where it wasn’t realistic to approach them … either they were with a partner or family or I was with friends or family or colleagues

Across all the jobs I’ve had, classes I’ve done, volunteering groups, mixed sports teams, I’ve never naturally met anyone I actually found sexy. I’ve got unconventional taste in women but I always had to go out of my way to meet them - approaching them at malls or nights out, dating apps (deleted them for now). I’m a tall good looking guy so I’ve had women interested in me, some even asked me out, but again never any I was attracted to, it killed me to reject them because they were nice people but they deserve to be with someone who finds them sexy.

This made me more compelled to approach or cap women because chances are that I won’t meet someone as sexy as them in my day to day life.

I haven’t capped since I lost my casual job a week ago (due to my compulsion with capping which I posted about) but it hasn’t been easy, and my approach has been for the most part just not going out much, and when I do go out I try to keep my eyes on the prize not wandering around the store for any potential subjects. I know that isn’t exactly a healthy long term solution but it’s better than nothing I guess.

I’m a bit worried that I’ve burned the boats and I can’t go back to how I was before I even knew capping was a thing. Even if I got a partner I loved, I can see the compulsion still being there. I guess I gotta just remind myself that it’s never ending and I got to break away form it for my sanity. Many sexy women will go uncapped and you won’t get to jack the beanstalk over their pixels. Such is life. There are far more gratifying experiences in life.

Anyway I was feeling good yesterday, I had gone to the store and didn’t really feel compelled to cap despite there being way more sexy women than usual including one wearing a see thru skirt right in front of me in the checkout line

Then on the drive home in the space of 10 minutes I saw the most jaw dropping woman who was exactly my type (tall part native looking slightly chubby, huge boobs, apple booty, wearing short shorts and a bikini top) strutting along the side of the road with a few friends who were pretty damn sexy too. I pulled over and my first instinct was to try to find a way to cap her. I grabbed my phone and put my car in park, opened the door and in that 30 seconds or so that I took my eyes off them they literally vanished.

Not the first time this has happened with a sexy subject. Whenever I would spot really world class women something comically annoying would happen - some fat dude would waddle out of nowhere and stand right in the way until she left, my camera would go blurry or my phone would freeze, one time as soon as I started recording she walked into a random passageway at the mall - I went in later out of curiosity because I didn’t know it existed and there were literally no exits or rooms besides like circuit board and janitors closets. I don’t give off creepy vibes either I would pretend to be on my phone and I didn’t get too close or follow them around. It used to put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

This time I didn’t look around too hard because I took it as a sign to get my ass back in the car and drive home.

Not 2 minutes later I see a somehow even sexier woman wearing a micro bikini (I live near the beach and it was hot as hell yesterday). I almost drove into a lamppost. I was salivating like pavlovs dog. Again I felt like pulling over and either approaching her or capping her, but I shook my head snapped out of it and kept driving. I had somewhere to be.

Remember Churchill’s famous quote about how you will never get anywhere if you stop to throw rocks at every dog that barks at you… this obsession can really fuck with your productivity if you let it.

But come on universe… I go my entire life without meeting anyone I find sexy at work or college or anything then I see two jaw dropping women on a short drive home from the shops.

Hoping that if I keep myself busy and keep trying to resist the urges it will get easier eventually.

I haven’t look at porn in a while either but the flipside is that makes me hornier for real women and more tempted to cap

Anyway here’s another post to keep myself accountable , and something some of you guys can surely relate with

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Bruh set aside a certain period of time to cap if you’re gonna continue, but you’re damn near running your car into light poles!? I’d pretty much be doing everything to avoid capping for the moment. Exercise in greater quantities or play some more games for now, or read a bit heavier than usual. Currently I think you’re fucking yourself way harder than the activity itself is. You’re completely careless right now and might pose a danger to yourself if you don’t clear your head before capping more.

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I was exaggerating a bit lol but I definitely took my eyes off the road for a while.

Those are good ideas but it kind of feels like putting a bandage on a bullet wound? I mean exercise and reading are great but I don’t want the solution to be limiting or avoiding public places.

But for now I think that’s how it has to be.

Cutting out porn hasn’t helped with the urge to cap though because now seeing women in public is like my only outlet.

I’ll try to stay the course but long term I feel like I need to change my whole philosophy, to get better at letting feelings and thoughts go without acting on them, realizing that having control over yourself is a better feeling than giving into impulses that sort of thing

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agreed. you have to accept that you’re man & like what you see. otherwise acting like you dont is screwing you up too. it is what it is. there’s plenty fish out there but challenging self to know its temporary does justice to your connections. you may come across a dandy you have to work with yet your accountability may match a long term connection that will trump her just looking good. keep the class alive. you got this :+1:

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It’s exactly the same as any addiction. Masturbation can help, but porn is very dangerous, it’s another cookie for the cookie monster, it helps reinforce the idea of ​​objectification of women and distracts you from goal, self-control. It’s hard bro, but it’s the only way, it’s that or die alone fucking your right hand for the rest of your life. Take it easy, day by day, thank yourself for the effort, for every little conquest, like when you didn’t get that photo. Take control again!

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Now this…

Figured I’d give you this context before I lay into you.

First,

By all intents and purposes, you’re just proving security was right all along for contacting your manager. Maybe they did have a stick up their ass, but can you blame them? Omnia, you have a serious problem. I can’t definitively speak on your issues with women, but I’m almost certain it has a lot to do with your porn/capping addiction. The universe isn’t teasing you. Things are happening and because you have a hyper fixation on capping, your brain looks at every hot woman as a “missed opportunity” - that isn’t normal. Think about it, if your future employer was reading this… what do you believe they’d think?

You’re so enveloped in this addiction it’s consuming you. Talking to women is hard. You are GOING to get rejected… many times over - work on yourself. Find healthier ways to reconcile that. The more you indulge in your pleasures, the less you will want to do anything remotely challenging because it’s antithetical to the very idea of what you indulge in. Why would you want to put any effort in actually talking to a woman when you can simply go to porn or cap them? You wouldn’t. Thing is, the guilt/shame/desire to be more will NEVER go away. In fact, it will be bigger than the hole you believe you have when you AREN’T doing those things.

I’ll be honest, being on this site isn’t doing you any favors. Your social bubbles are indicative of your outcome and frankly, repeatedly coming here is like an alcoholic repeatedly going to his local pub for drinking advice. Nothing is gonna change if you keep using pleasure as a crutch to assuage the feeling of hopelessness. It’s, how you said, putting a band-aid on a bullet wound… I’d say it’s more akin to stopping a flood with paper towels.

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The only part I disagree with is your comment that being here isn’t doing me any favors.

I haven’t looked at a single image on this site, I just used it as a place to vent about frustrations with capping and pick up some tips… and now as a sort of support group to help me break from the addiction with people like yourself who can relate enough to offer non-judgmental advice.

You’re dead right about using capping and porn as a sub for real life experiences even though that’s not a conscious thought process that is what I’ve been doing. And I know that’s a path to misery and self loathing.

It’s just so hard to reprogram myself, tried and failed countless times over the years, especially porn, for some reasons I’ve mentioned… only being attracted to a slither of women who I never seem to meet, and an awful relationship many years back with a woman who turned out to be a psycho that left some scars…burnout from dating in the last year or two and getting ghosted, stood up, let down and fucked around… I would find myself thinking fuck it porn is so much quicker, easier, less stressful, and just as pleasurable half the time. But I know it’s like sipping from a poisoned chalice to quench my thirst and it’s only going to fuck me up so I have to keep trying. I haven’t given up on the hope of having a healthy relationship and taking back control over my actions and I never will, because honestly at that point live isn’t even worth the while

Thanks for being brutally honest with me and not indulging my shit

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Never thought of myself as someone who objectifies women, but without realizing it that sort of is what I’ve started doing. I’m still always respectful and see women’s beauty runs far deeper than their appearance but porn/capping definitely pushes you in the direction of objectification.

Even my right hand falls asleep on me these days.

Brutal truth. I needed to hear that

Shit like this doesn’t just work itself out one day, it only gets worse as I realized recently

I’ll take one day at a time because the big picture is a bit overwhelming for now

Like a drug addict who can either get their next fix or go through the whole process of getting clean and trying to piece their life together hoping it will all be worth it. I know it will be because what I’m doing right now isn’t even giving pleasure since it’s all now tainted with the thought that I’m fucking my future by doing this , which is making quitting it seem a bit easier

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Great response as well. It is comforting to know that this forum is (mostly) supportive of a conflicted user’s wellbeing.

To all the other users with the same sort of issues, just know you’re not alone and there are many working through the same thoughts and feelings.

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Thanks for all the suggestions

I think I got consumed by candids because my life fell apart in other ways - single after a bad relationship, two best friends moved away from my city, made redundant from my job (my proper job not the retail one I lost last week), it put me in a bit of a depression I think and Porn and candids were some of the only pleasure I was getting - and I had a lot of time on my hands

The consequences should be enough to deter me - if a family member caught me capping for instance I think that could do some irreversible damage to our relationship or at least lead to a long and uncomfortable discussion

Getting caught by security staff would be rough as well.

And since I still have some scattered through the camera roll on my phone if a future partner found any that would be a really tough conversation as well (on that note where did you guys store them?)

Anyway thanks for the reply and the practical advice

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I have said it many times and I never tire of repeating it, this “hobby” is not compatible with society, we can pretend that it does not have negative effects, fears, paranoia, addiction, repetition of behavior patterns, objectification of women, etc. or we can support our community! As for where to save the material: I have the daily material in a hidden folder on my mobile phone and every now and then I move it to an external disk.

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Yeah I’m realizing that.
Even if you never get busted it takes a toll

A small win but I went shopping today and resisted the urge to cap anyone.
At one point I saw a sexy latina but I felt empowered walking past without reaching for my phone.
The only time I will interact with anyone like that from now on is if I’m asking them out and even then I don’t wanna feel compelled to ask out every spicy lady I cross paths with.

As for the hidden folder, aren’t they still technically in the camera roll even when you add them to a hidden folder? On iphone

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That’s great bro, I’m glad to read it, keep it up! Yes, my method of saving photos is not the best, but it’s enough for me.

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EXACTLY! This is why I didn’t even reply to this guy! If he wanted to change, he would have deleted this account ages ago. He is just here for a pity party.

This guy got off EASY! He doesn’t have a criminal conviction, right? So pick your damn self up, and maybe even change countries. Go online, look up teaching in China, or Japan, or Korea or something! A nice change of pace and PROBLEMS will give you a whole lot more concern than this ‘addiction.’

99% of the people who cap on this site have never been caught. Once or twice a chick may have been suspicious of them, and when that happens they self correct.

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This way of life isnt for the faint of heart bucko.

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Some guys have been caught, others which are fewer, caught AND confronted. The rest are just 1 quick glance at the camera and they think they got busted… even worse, not even a quick glance directly at the camera but at their general direction and they still think they got busted.

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I mean with the volume of capping going on, people are bound to get busted sooner or later. But the point I was making is they don’t feel ‘compelled’ to cap to the point where it is going to be obvious. The situations where he felt ‘compelled’ to cap are times when only an idiot would think it is appropriate to do so. WORST is to cap where you eat… who does that? People cap where there is no possible connection to themselves. I few do cap in personal spaces…true… but they do it quickly for a minute…not literally stalking anyone…

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That’s the thing, some guys just go full retard when it comes to capping. OP has been one of those extreme cases.

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It’s a sexual fetish / addiction for most users here not a ‘hobby’

They either do it for the adrenaline rush or get some semblance of intimacy with women they pass by or they’re horny and can’t approach women for whatever reason (e.g. they’re married ) and taking photos of them is the next best thing.

It’s hardly some noble pursuit no matter how smart and respectful you are capping anyone ever is going to be condemned as creepy by the majority of people

What’s your point anyway? people who haven’t been caught and lost everything are just being dramatic?

I post here because it’s the only place where I won’t be outright judged for a very socially unacceptable habit that I’m trying to kick and I’ve had lots of helpful responses , yours isn’t one of them besides maybe the suggestion to move countries which I’m thinking about but it hasn’t got anything to do with candids

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The way you sound, it came off like someone who as no possibilities. And I had two points, none of which you correctly referred to. 1st, you shouldn’t have been capping anywhere near where you have ties. That part is a given. There is no excuse for that, addiction or otherwise. And when you say it is an issue for you, correct…just you…so blaming the act of capping, or saying it has anything to do with being on this site is a BS excuse for your issues. Work on that. 2nd, you life is fine. Stuff like this happens. You have tons of options, and often, it turns out it was for the best. I predict this causes you to take the life action you needed a long time ago. Because, if capping was this much of an issue for you, clearly you needed a life change. Those were my points.